wish life was like writing a poem

i don't know how many lines i have written and deleted before writing this,its hard to concentrate when you wake up in the morning with a heavy head thinking what went wrong,too many things are going on right now in my life,or i can say keeping my nature in mind the things or the changes are just too fast paced.i cant help it but sit and observe after all thats what i can do best,observe and try to flow with the flow.

i have been a very complex human being,i am not sure about my needs and priorities,i really don't know if i need to choose or not choose at all,i don't know if its just me or it is the same with everybody else,life is just too complicated for a slow paced human like me,i realize am too obstinate for anybody,am downright difficult, i don't know if it is good or bad,but i can't help it,i have been like this for years.

this life hurts me,it is nothing like i am suffering or in some kind of crisis,nothing as such i have a the most wonderful father in the whole world and a lovely brother and even more than adorable dog who loves me be it anything,am well fed well groomed and have everything a teenager needs but still things take toll over me.

i don't have any control of what i do,what i want to do and what i will do,at times i just feel like going to some far off place where nobody knows me,rather there be no human,no one to talk to i just want to sit and reflect by some water body,watch the currents of the water,see the skies reflection in it,see the sun setting in it, see my reflection in the water,write sentences on the wet soil and then erase it.

i wish life was like writing a poem
arranging phrases,
rhyming lines
carefully placing them
one after another.
striking of lines and writing them again
substituting it with proper words,
reading it again
thinking and brooding
over the lines replacing gain with pain.
wish life was a sonnet or a ballad
maybe even an ode close to the heart.

but life was never meant to be
so blissful nothing like the the poets dream,
life is a river it keeps flowing
with pain,joy ,happiness fear,laughter and cries
coming and going like the river's stream.


TILL NEXT TIME,
love and light.
only your,
divz,the last page doodler.